While walking my students outside for dismissal one afternoon, my coworker informed me (with great conviction, enthusiasm, and volume) that I was incorrectly escorting my students out of the building. As a new teacher at this school, I was (apparently) unaware of the protocol.

I thought, Why is she talking to me like this?

I initially felt the need to justify and defend myself. After all, I thought I was following the protocol. I certainly was not endangering my students. But I held my tongue, put a smile on my face, and followed her orders. 

However, in my heart, I felt offended. 

Later that evening, while wrestling with my hurt feelings, I began to craft the perfect response to her rude behavior. That’s when I felt the Holy Spirit’s gentle nudge, “I want you to write her a thank-you note.” 

My response was honest. 

What? A thank-you note? For what? Thank you for yelling at me? Thank you for hurting my feelings? 

I continued to explain the perceived flaws in His prompting. After all, I wasn’t the only educator at this school who had experienced unpleasant run-ins with this coworker. Even though I hadn’t worked at the school long, I had heard several negative comments about her that I went on to share with Him.

Nevertheless, my valid arguments did not change God’s mind. He still wanted me to write the thank-you note.

As a child of God, I knew I needed to obey Him. So, I sat down to compose the note. When I began writing, I realized that my coworker’s goal was to advocate for student safety. And because she was so passionate about protecting our students, her words had come across harshly. This new perspective helped me move past my negative emotions and authentically express my appreciation for her concern regarding student safety.  

The next morning, I placed the note in her mailbox with a silent prayer. Although I was a little nervous about interacting with her again, I still felt peace because the Holy Spirit had shifted my attitude, helping me come to terms with my hurt feelings. I was choosing to forgive. I was letting go of my desire to confront and correct her. I was choosing to have an unoffendable heart.

Within a few days, we saw each other again. When she came up to me, I braced myself for her usual biting words. But, instead of being met with anger or a disheartening comment, she smiled and said, “Thank you for the note.” Then, she simply walked away. From that day forward, I enjoyed pleasant interactions with her.

As I look back and reflect on this situation, I have come to several realizations: 

1. I don’t need to be so easily offended. When I choose to extend grace to those who hurt me rather than dwell on negative emotions and destructive thoughts about others, I experience less stress, feel more peace, and reflect Jesus’ love. Proverbs 19:11 says, “Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense” (ESV). 
2. I can see past strong emotions that might overshadow good intentions. Passionate people may express their intense emotions in ways that aren’t intended. I can consider the difference between intention and impact, and assume good intentions rather than jumping to judgment. Romans 12:18 states, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.”
3. I can go to Jesus. When I’m struggling with the words and actions of others, I can lean into Jesus. His amazing love heals my heart, then overflows and pours out of me onto the person who hurt me. 1 John 4:7 reads, “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.” 
4. It’s possible to have a grateful heart and express it in difficult circumstances. My negative feelings about a challenging situation or person can be transformed through the power of the Holy Spirit. He can use my simple, obedient “thank you” to connect my heart with people who need His love. Colossians 2:6–7 tells us, “Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him, rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving.” 
5. Obedience is key. My relationship with Jesus thrives when I trust and obey. I can place my trust in His plans and know that they are for my good and the good of others. John 14:21 says, “If you love me, you will keep my commandments.” 

So the next time we feel offended by someone at school, we can examine our hearts, motives, and intentions. Then, we can take the time to connect with God and seek His wisdom for our response. Imagine the impact this approach could have on our school’s atmosphere—and the powerful example it would set for our students!